I was really hoping you would have got a reading of some voltage at that terminal. That would have indicated that the solenoid was not operating.
And just to clarify, you were checking for voltage at that terminal at the same time some one was holding the key over to the cranking position, correct?
Here is something else you could do that should verify whether the solenoid is actually good or bad. You could take a length of wire, it wouldn't have to be a real heavy gauge, and clamp one end to your positive post on your battery, and then take the other end and contact the small terminal, that we have been discussing, on the starter solenoid. Applying voltage here should excite the coil withing the solenoid, and if it is good, the solenoid should operate and the starter should crank. By doing this you have bypassed everything else. If the solenoid does not operate and the starter does not crank, that should mean that it is a bad solenoid.
To the transmission neutral switch: you said that you had a friend check it and that it was good. How did he check it? Remember, it is in the circuit to prevent current to the starter relay when the tranny is not in N or P.
As far as checking relays from your starter relay slot:
first, when you were cheating the relay, what were you using to do it with? I ask because I am wondering if maybe you may have damaged the contacts in one or both receptacles and now it isn't making good contact with the relay blades? Just asking.
Okay, the starter relay should be a 4 blade relay and the identification # for the blades should be on the relay itself and at the blade receptacles.
Here
This article describes how to identify the troublesome relay, and how to diagnose it, it's circuit and the attached wiring.
itstillruns.com
is a relay tutorial I really like, and before you start read through this, but I am cutting and pasting from it and it says to:
Check for constant ground to the relay.
"Identify the slot in the fuse box that terminal 85 plugs into. Set your multimeter to read voltage on the 20-volt scale. Plug the negative lead of your multimeter into the slot for terminal No. 85. Touch the positive lead to the positive battery terminal. You should see constant battery voltage. If the voltage flashes, repair the ground and ground wire that connects to terminal No. 85. If you get a constant voltage, continue to the next step."
"Check the quality of power to the switched side of the relay.
Plug the positive lead of your multimeter into the slot for terminal No. 86. Turn on the ignition key,"
In this case, you will need some one to hold the key over to the cranking position.
" then touch the positive lead of the multimeter to the negative battery terminal. If the voltage varies, the problem lies in whatever is supposed to activate the relay -- the computer or a switch, for example. Inspect, the wiring for terminal No. 86 and make any repairs as needed. If you do not discover any damage to the wiring for terminal No. 86, replace the component that controls the relay."